Sometimes .....
Sometimes you can sit alone in the last bench of the class
and think for your life
Sometimes you can sit on the railway station
and think of the moving people for a while
Sometimes you can go alone up the mountains near by
and listen to the green grass sway
Sometimes you can think of fast moving things
out the window of a fast moving bus
Sometimes you can see alone the children play
out the window of your house
Sometimes you can feel the stress upon you
due to daily chores you have
Sometimes you can see the babies playing
alone in cradle with legs in their hand
Sometimes you can see competition in
the organizational pyramid you working in
Sometimes you can see a storekeeper reading
newspaper alone in his shop
yeah sometimes.....
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
52 PROVEN STRESS REDUCERS
1. Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.
2. Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table. Make lunches. Put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.
3. Don't rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc. ("The palest ink is better than the most retentive memory."- Old Chinese Proverb)
4. Do nothing you have to lie about later.
5. Make copies of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden. Carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.
6. Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home and relationships will be less likely to break down "at the worst possible moment."
7. Be prepared to wait. A paperback book can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.
8. Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
9. Plan ahead. Don't let the gas tank get below onequarter full, keep a well- stocked "emergency shelf'' of home staples, don't wait until you're down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more, etc.
10. Don't put up with something that doesn't work right. If your alarm clock wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers-whatever-are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.
11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments. Plan to arrive at an airport one hour before domestic departures.
12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.
13. Always set up contingency plans, "just in case." ("If for some reason either of us is delayed, here's what we'll do..." Or, "If we get split up in the shopping center, here's where we'll meet.")
14. Relax your standards. The world will not end if the grass doesn't get mowed this weekend.
15. Pollyanna-Power! For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count 'em!
16. Ask questions. Taking a few moments to repeat back the directions that someone expects of you, etc., can save hours. (The old "the hurrieder I go, the behinder I get" idea.)
17. Say "No!" Saying no to extra projects, social activities and invitations you know you don't have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and to be alone.
18. Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect.
(The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.)
19. Turn "needs" into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don't get attached to preferences.
20. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
21. Make friends with nonworriers. Chronic worrywarts are contagious.
22. Take many stretch breaks when you sit a lot.
23. If you can't find quiet at home, wear earplugs.
24. Get enough sleep. Set your alarm for bedtime.
25. Organize! A place for everything and everything in its place. Losing things is stressful.
26. Monitor your body for stress signs. If your stomach muscles are knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax your muscles and take some deep, slow breaths.
27. Write your thoughts and feelings down on paper. It can help you clarify and give you a renewed perspective.
28. Do this yoga exercise when you need to relax: Inhale through your nose to the count of eight. Pucker your lips and exhale slowly to the count of 16. Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve. Repeat 10 times.
29. Visualize success before any experience you fear. Take time to go over every part of the event in your mind. Imagine how great you will look, and how well you will present yourself.
30. If the stress of deadlines gets in the way of doing a job, use diversion. Take your mind off the task and you will focus better when you're on task.
31. Talk out your problems with a friend. It helps to relieve confusion.
32. Avoid people and places that don't fit your personal needs and desires. If you hate politics, don't spend time with politically excited people.
33. Learn to live one day at a time.
34. Everyday, do something you really enjoy.
35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.
36. Take a bath or shower to relieve tension.
37. Do a favor for someone every day.
38. Focus on understanding rather than on being under stood, on loving rather than on being loved.
39. Looking good makes you feel better.
40. Take more time between tasks to relax. Schedule a realistic day.
41. Be flexible. Some things are not worth perfection.
42. Stop negative self-talk: "I'm too fat, too old, etc..."
43. Change pace on weekends. If your week was slow, be active. If you felt nothing was accomplished during the week, do a weekend project.
44. "Worry about the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves." Pay attention to the details in front of you.
45. Do one thing at a time. When you are working on one thing, don't think about everything else you have to do.
46. Allow time every day for privacy, quiet and thinking.
47. Do unpleasant tasks early and enjoy the rest of the day.
48. Delegate responsibility to capable people.
49. Take lunch breaks. Get away from your work in body and in mind.
50. Count to 1,000, not 10, before you say something that could make matters worse.
51. Forgive people and events. Accept that we live in an imperfect world.
52. Have an optimistic view of the world. Most people do the best they can.
src:http://www.lungusa.org/site/pp.asp?c=dvLUK9O0E&b=40327
2. Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table. Make lunches. Put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.
3. Don't rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc. ("The palest ink is better than the most retentive memory."- Old Chinese Proverb)
4. Do nothing you have to lie about later.
5. Make copies of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden. Carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.
6. Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home and relationships will be less likely to break down "at the worst possible moment."
7. Be prepared to wait. A paperback book can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.
8. Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
9. Plan ahead. Don't let the gas tank get below onequarter full, keep a well- stocked "emergency shelf'' of home staples, don't wait until you're down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more, etc.
10. Don't put up with something that doesn't work right. If your alarm clock wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers-whatever-are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.
11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments. Plan to arrive at an airport one hour before domestic departures.
12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.
13. Always set up contingency plans, "just in case." ("If for some reason either of us is delayed, here's what we'll do..." Or, "If we get split up in the shopping center, here's where we'll meet.")
14. Relax your standards. The world will not end if the grass doesn't get mowed this weekend.
15. Pollyanna-Power! For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count 'em!
16. Ask questions. Taking a few moments to repeat back the directions that someone expects of you, etc., can save hours. (The old "the hurrieder I go, the behinder I get" idea.)
17. Say "No!" Saying no to extra projects, social activities and invitations you know you don't have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and to be alone.
18. Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect.
(The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.)
19. Turn "needs" into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don't get attached to preferences.
20. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
21. Make friends with nonworriers. Chronic worrywarts are contagious.
22. Take many stretch breaks when you sit a lot.
23. If you can't find quiet at home, wear earplugs.
24. Get enough sleep. Set your alarm for bedtime.
25. Organize! A place for everything and everything in its place. Losing things is stressful.
26. Monitor your body for stress signs. If your stomach muscles are knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax your muscles and take some deep, slow breaths.
27. Write your thoughts and feelings down on paper. It can help you clarify and give you a renewed perspective.
28. Do this yoga exercise when you need to relax: Inhale through your nose to the count of eight. Pucker your lips and exhale slowly to the count of 16. Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve. Repeat 10 times.
29. Visualize success before any experience you fear. Take time to go over every part of the event in your mind. Imagine how great you will look, and how well you will present yourself.
30. If the stress of deadlines gets in the way of doing a job, use diversion. Take your mind off the task and you will focus better when you're on task.
31. Talk out your problems with a friend. It helps to relieve confusion.
32. Avoid people and places that don't fit your personal needs and desires. If you hate politics, don't spend time with politically excited people.
33. Learn to live one day at a time.
34. Everyday, do something you really enjoy.
35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.
36. Take a bath or shower to relieve tension.
37. Do a favor for someone every day.
38. Focus on understanding rather than on being under stood, on loving rather than on being loved.
39. Looking good makes you feel better.
40. Take more time between tasks to relax. Schedule a realistic day.
41. Be flexible. Some things are not worth perfection.
42. Stop negative self-talk: "I'm too fat, too old, etc..."
43. Change pace on weekends. If your week was slow, be active. If you felt nothing was accomplished during the week, do a weekend project.
44. "Worry about the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves." Pay attention to the details in front of you.
45. Do one thing at a time. When you are working on one thing, don't think about everything else you have to do.
46. Allow time every day for privacy, quiet and thinking.
47. Do unpleasant tasks early and enjoy the rest of the day.
48. Delegate responsibility to capable people.
49. Take lunch breaks. Get away from your work in body and in mind.
50. Count to 1,000, not 10, before you say something that could make matters worse.
51. Forgive people and events. Accept that we live in an imperfect world.
52. Have an optimistic view of the world. Most people do the best they can.
src:http://www.lungusa.org/site/pp.asp?c=dvLUK9O0E&b=40327
Friday, August 10, 2007
How to Spot a Liar?
How to spot a liar.
by Nguyen Tam
We have all met people who were dishonest and avoided eye contact. It has been said that "the eyes are the mirror if the soul." Many people know that their eyes betray their lies. Some try to conceal the truth by wearing sunglasses of looking down at the ground.
Eventually, you will confront someone and need to know if they are being honest. It may be a friend, a family member or an employee. Police have established a method of evaluating the truthfulness of a person by watching the movements of their eyes. It's not an exact science by any means, and it can be manipulated by a skilled criminal or a seasoned liar, but is it generally accepted as a good indicator of honesty.
The following are some general patterns that you can use when talking to someone. It shows the various directions of eye movements of a person and explains what is usually going on in their mind at that moment. It illustrates that a glance to the observer's left usually reveals a creative process -- when someone is "making up" facts or lying. A glance to the observer's right reveals that the subject is remembering facts.
Here is a more detailed explanation of this method:
Up and to the Left: Indicates a visually constructed Images. If you asked someone to "Imagine an ice cream sundae with a red cherry on top", this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are "Visually Constructing" an ice cream sundae with a cherry in their mind.
Up and to the Right: Indicates a Visually Remembered Images. If you asked someone to "What color shirt or blouse did you wear yesterday?", this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are "Visually Remembering" the color.
To the Left: Indicates an Auditory Construct thought. If you asked someone to "Try and ceate the sound of a speeding train in your head", this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are imagining and creating the sound of a speeding train.
To the Right: Indicates an Auditory Memory. If you asked someone to "Remember what the National Anthem sounds like", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while remembering the song.
Down and to the Left: Indicates a Feeling / Kinesthetic / Sensory impression that is being created. If you asked someone to "Can you remember the taste of chocolate?", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while they recalled a smell, feeling, or taste of eating chocolate.
Down and To the Right: Indicates an Internal Dialog. This is the direction of someone's eyes as they "talk to themselves."
How to use this information to detect a lie?
Let's say that you have a friend who owes you some money. You have heard that they just got paid and you want to suggest that they pay you back. You try to be polite and ask them, "Did you get paid yet?" They answer, "Gee, not yet. The boss said maybe next week." and look to their right (your left). This would indicate that they are constructing or "making up" what their boss said. They are telling a lie.
Police often ask a suspect to describe someone in detail. If the suspect looks to their right (your left) they are generally constructing or "making up" the visual description. If they look to their left (your right) they are generally recalling the details from their visual memory.
So, in general, a glance to your left when observing a person indicates that they are creating or "lying" while a glance to your right signifies that they are remembering an actual event, or being "truthful."
But ther's more to the story...
Another thing that forensic interrogators look for is the use of contractions -- words like isn't, doesn't, weren't, etc. These usually are used by people telling the truth. On the other hand, people who say is not, does not, were not, etc. are often lying.
They also look for the reactions and facial expressions that accompany what the person is talking about. If someone says "I'm so sad that it happened!" but there is a delay in their expession of sadness, they are probably not being honest. The example is often given of someone who receives a present that they don't like. They often respond with "Wow. It's beautiful, I love it!" and then, some few seconds later, they smile and appear to look happy. Truthful emotions are spontaneous and instantaneous.
Another method used by professionals is to change the subject. A person who has been telling lies about a particular event will welcome the change of topic and will be visibly relaxed. An innocent suspect or a person who has been telling the truth will usually want to continue the dialog and will find the change of topic puzzling and attempt to regain focus on the topic.
Body language is also a good thing to observe. Liars usually do not use their hands. They often fold their arms together in front of them or poition items such as books, cups or other things between themselves and the person asking the questions. Sometimes they touch their mouth or nose alot.
Some investigators say that long and detailed answers to otherwise simple questions can indicate a lie. It's as if the more detail the person gives the more he tries to convince the questioner that he is being truthful. If they are confronted or acused of something, the liar will usually deny the accusation in a calm and emotionless manner instead of getting excited and saying things like "What? You think I did it?"
With careful video analysis, some investigators can observe rapid twitches in facial muscles that indicate a lie. Poker players often learn to "read" the facial expressions or "ticks" of other players to determine if they hold a good hand of cards or are just "bluffing."
To become adept at distinguishing lies, ask some neutral questions to establish the baseline of the subject. Watch their facial expressions and eye movements and test this method by asking questions and observing the pattern of shifts to left, right, up and down.
A word of caution: this method may be reversed in left-handed people. It also may not apply to people who have rehearsed their answers or who have taken drugs or consumed alcohol.
Update: Blood in cheeks reveals liars
Many people blush when they are telling a lie. It's a very subtle phenomenon but this slight increase of blood flow to the cheeks can be detected. A camera that detects liars by monitoring the temperature of their face could lead to more acurate detection of terrorists and illegals at airports and border crossings.
In the image on the top [right] the normal blood flow pattern can be seen and contrasted with the increased blood flow (bottom image) of a peron who is lying.
The temperature of the eye region can rise by several degrees. However, the thermal camera needs to be many times more sensitive to detect this change accurately at a distance. In tests the system picked out liars with comparable accuracy to conventional polygraph equipment, which is more complicated and time consuming to use. This method is just beginning to be used in forensic environments and holds promise for the future.
src:http://www.mondovista.com/liar.html
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
A Date!!!
A date !
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.
She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.
The other woman that my wife w anted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. " Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, " I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.
"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,
I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date ?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: " I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.
She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.
The other woman that my wife w anted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. " Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, " I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.
"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,
I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date ?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: " I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
My frnd
God wanted to make a person full of love
So He made a “MOTHER”
A person full of support & encouragement
So He made a “FATHER”
Someone who can offer help always
So He made a “BROTHER”
Some to play pranks and add joy
So He made “SISTER”
Then God decided to make a special person
Who has all the qualities together all in one
So He made a
“FRIEND”
Encourage me for posting more by commenting and making me earn
So He made a “MOTHER”
A person full of support & encouragement
So He made a “FATHER”
Someone who can offer help always
So He made a “BROTHER”
Some to play pranks and add joy
So He made “SISTER”
Then God decided to make a special person
Who has all the qualities together all in one
So He made a
“FRIEND”
Encourage me for posting more by commenting and making me earn
Thursday, July 19, 2007
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